TV Thoughts: American Horror Story: Coven 3.01 “Bitchcraft”
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Our waiting has finally paid off! American Horror Story: Coven came and graced our screens today and good God in heaven was it an amazing episode. Ryan Murphy and company returned to slay all of us in our homes with an episode so good I can’t even wrangle my thoughts (though you know I’ll try). There was a lot of stuff that happened in this episode so lets break it down shall we!
-In the first five minutes Kathy Bates secured an Emmy nomination. Playing Madame LaLaurie, she was a terrifying force of nature. Whether it’s using slave’s blood as skin cream or torturing slaves in her basement, everything with her was a highlight.
-Taissa Farmiga’s back! After missing the last season, she’s back as a young witch with a killer vagina. Like an actual killer vagina. She kills her boyfriend when having sex with him and kills the dude who led the gang rape of Emma by literally fucking his brains out.
-I #minuswell get this out of the way, THEY HAD BETTER BRING KYLE (EVAN PETERS) BACK NEXT WEEK! I AM NOT HERE FOR HIM DYING SO EARLY ALTHOUGH I AM KIND OF HERE FOR IT CAUSE ITS GOOD PLOTTING BUT UGH…
-Speaking of Evan Peters, he is a damn lie if he thought that accent he was using was from the Lower Ninth Ward. Chile…do better.
-Also back this season, Jaime Brewer who was amazing as Addie in season one. Hey girl.
-Emma Roberts’ Madison must die and soon. Though she got one of the best moments in the episode her character is super annoying and needs to be knocked down a peg. I CACKLED when Queen Supreme Jessica Lange flung her across the room.
-My girl Gabourey Sidibe SLAYED as Queenie. I’m so excited to see her on the show.
-One of the best parts of this season is going to be all the powers the witches have. I jumped out of my chair when Gabby stabbed her hand and claiming she was a human voodoo doll. AMAZING twist and so wonderfully shocking.
-How have I gone this long without bowing down to Queen Supreme Jessica Lange? She was and continues to be EVERYTHING in American Horror Story. LOVED her coked out booziness at the beginning, her take no prisoners approach to the students and digging up LaLaurie. She also got all of the best lines.
-BUT HOLY SHIT CAN WE TALK ABOUT LALAURIE BEING ALIVE! Sirs and ma’ams I almost fell out. What an amazing thing to happen and I love how it’s dovetailing with Jessica’s storyline to find eternal youth.
-Angela Bassett is amazing. That is all.
-It looks like the season is going to center around feminism and women finding/having power. A very interesting dynamic although I don’t think everything works. I LOVED Madison coming back after that rape and flipping the bus, but Evan Peters was on it and died. I like the idea of women taking back their youth/power but the sucking out of the youth and revenge rape was kind of off putting and not just for the visuals sake. I hope Murphy and Co. take a more nuanced approach from now on with that.
Best Line: “When are you gonna die and stop ruining my life?” – Cordelia Foxx (Sarah Paulson)
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