Game of Thrones Recap 4.04 “Oathkeeper”

Game of Thrones finds the most interesting ways to keep my interests piqued even when we hit some bumps like last week. Tonight’s episode was a pretty thoroughly composed hour of television and I have some thoughts.

-First off all let me pay #amish to Michelle MacLaren who directed this episode. I LOVE her directing style and she’s clearly the Queen of TV. One of these Hollywood studios needs to hand this woman a blockbuster and quick. Now to the regularly scheduled program…

-Greyworm and Missandei got the opening scene of the episode, with her trying to teach him different languages, or Jedi mind trick him or something. I missed most of it cause 1) negroes got to open the show! and 2) I would be 100% here for the show if they put them together sexually or romantically

-I still want to know why Danerys ain’t burning folks left and right with those big ass dragons she has but it was very poetic to have the masters nailed to posts on the way to Mereen.

-Did you all LOL as loud as I did when Bron pulled Jamie’s hand off and slapped him with it? I cackled something fierce. Also, I was wondering when he’d get taught that lesson.

-Jamie then went to go see Tyrion who made a kingslayer brothers comment that made me chuckle. I loved seeing them sort of take the piss out of each other and then getting really real about the situation.

-Speaking of getting real, Sansa is finally starting to realize what’s happening in the world around her as she was wise to Littlefinger’s plot from 1st word. Littlefinger is so creepy with her but his line “A man with no motive is a man no one suspects” had me shouting in praise on this here Sunday. Also, who are these new friends he apparently has?

-This bish Lady Olena…she been a calculating broad since jump! I was in TEARS with her recounting that story of how she got to be the queen by sleeping with someone before he was supposed to marry someone else and that he wasn’t able to walk after what they’d done the night before. YAAAAAAS BITCH YAAAAASSSSS lmfao

-Margery is now in King’s Landing by herself but she’ll be fine, if her initial interaction with Tommen was anything to go by. When she snuck into his room I got really concerned that we’d get an underage sex scene the week after a rape but it ended up being a sweet thing with only like 6% sexual tension. Tommen is clearly taken by her and Ser Pounce (his cat) liked him. Margery is clearly on court game infinity cause she already has him wrapped around her finger. Also the cinematography in this sequence was to die for.

– Let me touch on Jamie and Cersei for a minute. After last week’s rape, I was unsure how their scenes would play, and they were awkward as all get out cause it seemed like there was no kind of leftover effects from last week. That being said, Cersei, bitch, whyyyyyyy are you so intent on killing Tyrion? You know his ass is too smart to pull some bs like this.

-Jamie and Brienne *wistful sigh* my heart was singing when he asked her to bring the Stark girls to safety and gave her the Valerian steel sword. Also how awesome will it be that Podrick is gonna be going with her and they’ve gotten the name Oathkeeper.

-Meanwhile at Castle Black, Jon Snow is trying to get these hoes in line for this upcoming battle with the wildlings but these hoe ass bitches in command are being hater bitches. However, Jon makes a new friend and gets several Night’s Watch folks to come with them to take back Crastor’s Keep where…

-Ghost! and Bran and company are currently at! This is certainly an interesting development and I pray to the almighty that we get a Bran and Jon reunion (after the successful get Crastor’s back)

-So the last five minutes of the episode, WHAT IN THE ENTIRE FUCK?! So the white walkers apparently have some glorious underground ice castle kingdom (which looked gorgeous btw) and they can turn babies into ice? Like…whet? huh? I’m so confused….what is happening?