I have finally screened all the movies that I think I can stomach from 2012. Though I have missed a few high profile titles, I have finalized the list of the worst films of the past year. Please note that several films that probably warrant placement on this list are not here because I would not subject my eyes to them. This would include stuff like Battleship, Dark Shadows, Red Tails, etc. Anyways, hope you enjoy reading this list!
10. Prometheus – I originally gave this movie 3 stars but it has PLUMMETED in my estimation since then. This is one example of filmmakers sabotaging themselves by going out of their way to make a narrative complex. There is a way to have the audience asking questions without deliberately removing scenes from the final film to confuse audiences. The shame of this film is that there were thought provoking elements but they get obfuscated by Lindeloff and Scott’s desire to be masters of the universe. Also the characterizations were horrendous (the scientists were so dumb for being so smart) and prompted this recent tweet:
9. Snow White and the Huntsman – Boy this film had so much promise and although it’s one of the most visually impressive films of the year, it has one of the year’s weaker scripts. Between the ridiculous love triangle (where did that even come from????) to the lack of things for K-Stew to do to the massive logic holes, the screenplay does do enough to show us.
8. Brave – Oh Pixar, how did this concept end up such a muddled mess? Much has been made about how Pixar replaced Brenda Chapman about midway through production and man does this movie feel like a case of too many cooks in the kitchen. The story is weak, the villain not all that villain-y and the crux of the plot is foolish. But worst of all is the main character Merida. Brave desperately wants us to root for her, despite making her a brat that disobeys her mother and turns her into a bear. Seriously, not once while Merida’s mom appeared to be dying from a cookie that would help change her fate did Merida give a damn about her mom’s health. It’s things like that which make Brave Pixar’s worst film in my eyes.
7. The Grey – While many bloggers and critics have praised this film, The Grey just didn’t click for me. Far more a survival tale than Liam Neeson fighting wolves (something that doesn’t even happen mind you), this film has some interesting elements but soon devolves into nothing more than campers being picked off by wolves. I just never got into the movie no matter how hard I tried.
6. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey – While the 48 fps was a marvel, this film was a dud. As I mention in my review, The Hobbit “is nothing more than an adequate filmmaking exercise that strikes most of the same beats as Lord of the Rings without any of the importance, epic scope or je ne sais quoi is that a movie has to have in order to be really successful.” Too many closeups + too little plot = a spot on my worst list.
Review: http://www.awardscircuit.com/2012/12/11/the-hobbit-an-unexpected-journey/
5. The Deep Blue Sea – For a movie that’s so rooted in deep passion, this film sure is boring. This 90 min movie feels like 90 years because of how slowly it’s paced. It is equivalent to being a film school approximation of a British tv show without the energy.
4. Sinister – One of the most disappointing films I saw this year, Sinister wastes some epic sound design on an annoying framing device and GOTCHA ending that undos the entire film proceeding it.
Review: http://www.awardscircuit.com/2012/10/11/sinister-%C2%BD/
3. Keep the Lights On – I just don’t get what all the fuss is about with this movie. I truly believe that somewhere in this narrative was a good movie, but what is currently constucted is a formless, thinly plotted mess with only one good performance to keep it from being #1.
2. John Carter – Bloated to the extreme with an atrocious script, it is no wonder that John Carter lost Disney $200 million. There’s almost nothing to even praise about this movie as all the good performances and special effects are just wasted by Stanton’s inability to craft a good story.
1. Rock of Ages – Like…just…I don’t even really know where to begin with this one. There was SO MUCH SINGING, and as an uber-fan of musicals you know that’s tough for me to say but my God they just put songs in here just to make the soundtrack more expensive. The plot is all over the place but not in the areas where it should be aka Tom Cruise as Stacy Jaxx. If I never see another movie with Diego Boneta or Julianne Hough as main characters it might be too soon, and why musicals insist on casting people like Brand and Baldwin who cant sing is beyond me. Shankman’s direction is a mess and his editing ruins some fantastic performances/songs.