Last week’s Game of Thrones episode set up some nice game pieces and gave me an excuse to deliver a rant I’m sure Tyrion would be proud of. Tonight’s episode was a good one to leave off of before the Memorial Day break and gave us all some catharsis and emotional content.
-Jaime and Tyrion have become such a wonderful BrOTP over the course of this series. Like only Tyrion could literally shade this man for fucking Cersei and then go into a conversation laughing about how if Jamie was his champion and lost, that the Lannister line would end. I Lol’d considerably.
-I promptly stopped laughing when we saw Ser Gregor aka the Mountain slicing and dicing people. He’s gonna be Cersei’s champion. Tyrion better pray cause the people he wants to champion him kept being bough off or intimidated. Except for Oberyn! Ugh like I just…this man…let me stop before I get to far ahead or behind it really doesn’t matter I haven’t been this attracted to a fiction character in a long time oh wait we’re supposed to be talking about the plot. So Oberyn visits Tyrion in his cell and talks to him about how he actually visited Tyrion when his father brought him to Dorne. This was the saddest story basically saying how Cersei wanted him dead even as a baby. Tyrion (and me) were on the verge of tears till Oberyn said that he would be his champion. Bitch I screamed YAAAAAASSSSSS Oberyn! Now I’m worried tho. Everyone I tend to love and root for meets a terrible end 🙁
-Someone who aint intimidated? Arya. This girl is just turning into a mini-hitwoman in front of our very eyes. She stabbed that one dude who said something rude to her like 2 seasons ago. I cackled at her imitating the hound who previously killed the dying dude.
-Speaking of the Hound, that convo him and Arya had about what happened to him with the Mountain. This episode had some great two person showdowns and talks.
-Like Daario and Dany. Whew Lord Jesus these two. So Daario just storms in Dany’s quarters and has his way with her on every surface calmly enters and presents her with flowers. Dany isn’t really here for him at that moment but he tells her he’s only good at two things: killing people and pursing women. Dany says they’ve already killed enough people and there are thousands of women. He replied that there’s only one woman he really wants to fuck every which way. Dany then calmly pours her wine that she plans to lick off every crevice of Daario’s body and orders him to take off his clothes. Which he does. Now at first I was like
Just primed and ready for all the sex. But then these bitches cut away and went to the next day! BITCH WHAT?! HOW IS HBO GON NOT SHOW US A SEX SCENE? DID HBO TURN INTO A BASIC CABLE NETWORK BEFORE TONIGHT AND I WAS LEFT UNINFORMED? How is this show which has shown us two rapes and a near rape in 3 of the last 4 weeks gon deprive the audience of two insanely attractive people having consensual sex? What fresh hell is this? Now I’m just sitting here like
Also
-At least this enabled us to see Jorah and Dany have an interesting pow wow. Every interaction these two have is clouded by the fact that Jorah was at first a Lannister spy, which we learned last week. But watching them go back and forth and seeing Dany show signs of being a true Targaryen was fun.
-We also saw Melissandre less than fully clothed. I have nothing more to add about her scenes cause I was being lulled to sleep. She looks amazing tho.
-jon snow is still being treated like shit by the Night’s Watch and I am not here for it. How dare they tell him to lock Ghost away. That dog done killed more people than y’all! And then they had all the nerve to be like “this castle has stood for thousands of years” we don’t need to clear the tunnel. Y’all got like 30 ppl to fight off an army of 1000 with giants, you better reconsider and take every advantage you can get.
-Brienne and Pod continue to be fun and adorable and not it seems they are on the right track to finding the Stark kids after seeing Hot Pie(!) at a Tavern.
-Finally let’s talk about the goings on at the Erye. Chile whew…so much foolishness. Sansa just can’t find peace anywhere. First she’s gotta deal with that raggedy lil son of Lysa who destroyed her Winterfell castle. Sansa slapped the shit out of him (go Sansa!) which was seen by Littlefinger. Lord Baelish then got asked by Sansa why he killed Joffrey and he gave her some fool’s gold talmbout what do we do to those who harm us. Then he says that in a different world they could have been father and daughter and then he kissed her! Sir what part of the game is this? To make gross matters worse, Lysa saw it happen! Then Lysa called Sansa to come look at the moon door and gave her some crazy speech before almost pushing her out of it! Littlefinger then decides to show up and placate her telling Lysa that he only loved one woman, her sister (HA!) before pushing her out the moon door! Littlefinger aint fucking around with these Westerosans!
What do you all think of the episode?